How many times in my day do I forgive someone else or myself, but I do not forget?
It is that NOT FORGETTING that makes forgiveness an exercise in futility.
Forgiveness is a relinquishment of any perceived attack to myself or others. Forgiveness and not forgetting are mutually exclusive, so I cannot forgive until I see that it is my unwillingness to forget that keeps me in the illusion of attack revenge cycle -- i perceive attack from you or against someone I love or hold dear and I then I get my true 'revenge' from your attack by not forgetting. In my wrong mind, I get the best of both worlds -- i get to 'forgive' but I get to hold onto the attack as well...ah, self-righteousness -- it is the goal of perceived separation.
Happily, this internal bargaining I make is all an illusion -- attack is only a wrong minded idea.
It is only when I can begin to see your 'attack' as your fear and nothing else (and fear is not real) then true forgiveness is possible -- I realize I am outside the illusion looking in and I gently smile -- I know I have forgiven myself; for I am the only one I can forgive -- and in that moment, I am awake.
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